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The Handicapped Hero
peglegpogostick
erica: play nice. Karma's a bitch.
Me: This said to a bald cancer-surviving jew with a prosthetic knee means very little.
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peglegpogostick
No. I'd really rather not. :)
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peglegpogostick
Attention all idiots: it'd make my day if you fill the form out that allows me to navigate your idiocy. Kthxbai.
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peglegpogostick
Totally going.

Hells yeah.

http://www.myspace.com/kungfudykes
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peglegpogostick
My cough was bad enough that the doc wanted me to have some loopy juice!

Narcotics. Lovely lovely narcotics.
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peglegpogostick
Is *anything* going right today?

all iv'e seen is bad juju.
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peglegpogostick
I came into the office today and the security guard addressed me with "What time it is"

I knew what she wanted. She wanted to know the time. But because of the flagrant disregard for syntax I had to resist being helpful as best I could.

"Oh ho! A profound exclaimation, I say! What time it is, indeed!" I replied, with a gesture that beamed with pure eureka. (If only I had a monacle...)

And with that I walk away, drinking my mountain dew (it's 6:45 AM).

The security guard probably thought I was the crazy one. Silly, silly lady.

Emotional Progress: devious Sneaksy

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peglegpogostick
It was hilarious. Totally awesome.

So while I was supposed to be keeping watch at night, I instead drew silly pictures of people while they were asleep. The best one I think was when I drew the party worshipping me after having delivered a deathblow to a dragon in a previous quest.

They woke up and gave me a nasty look. XD

So we're walking along and come across a trade caravan. This is after we got ambushed by shit tons of bandits and whatnot, so we were all rattled a bit. The Warlord looked at this rock that makes her all retarded, and I announced we were delivering a village idiot to an over-developed locale. We went on our way...

So I was assaulted then at the inn after attempting to get everyone drunk and subsequently pick their pockets. However, I was in the poorer area of town and not only did I not find a good mark, I failed my attempt utterly resulting in a big ol' bar fight! Thankfully I was unscathed.

I went to bed and noticed some critter in my room, stabbing one of them. After being hit myself, I escaped from the room by teleporting. I began to scream for the town guards who callously arrested me for being mostly nude and believed to be drunk. There were infact 4 critters in my room which proceeded to almost kill everyone except the dwarf who took her sweet time getting dressed.

This was the same dwarf who my character referred to as "Deldra Ale-on-the-breath." This was not her correct name. Suffice to say, she bribed the guards begrudgingly while the critters were trying to kill my party for some negligible item of immeasurabe power in my backpack.

I ran back in the inn right when the whole fight had apparently jumped (our wizard) and flown (the one beastie still alive, trying to kill our wizard) through the window. Seeing this rather "Benny Hill" mellee, I defenestrated myself and while falling, struck the killing blow on the previously mentioned baddie.

Again, proving why the rogues are most successful whilst "doing it from behind."
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peglegpogostick
so yesterday i was on the radio...

The guy from 102.1 said he thought he had mono and wanted people to call in and tell him if he did or not. I called in, and said "I hear it feels like the beginning stages of pregnancy."

This is where he edited the call and aired only that part of our conversation. What REALLY happened is this...

"I've... never been pregnant."

"Well are you throwing up in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"Are you tired and fussy?"

"Yeah, but I'm not..."

"Well...are your lady parts hurting!?!?"

"NO!"

"oh..."
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peglegpogostick
Someone give me a boot in the ass.

Please.
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peglegpogostick

I'm not the one who screwed up your freaking claim form!!!

ITS A FORM! IT HAS FIELDS! 





***That means you fill them out!***

KTHXBAI!

Emotional Progress: exhausted exhausted

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peglegpogostick
I am NOT fat.
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peglegpogostick

http://richmond.craigslist.org/zip/856430755.html

Damn right.

Emotional Progress: mischievous mischievous

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peglegpogostick

I'M FREE!!! That's right!

"Never text me again," she says! WOO HOO!!! *cackles*

So let's backtrack. Let's backtrack and go deeper into the story of how I got Sara to say, and I repeat "Never text me again."
 

Read more...Collapse )
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peglegpogostick
First, in recent news, I'm moving again. Despite the hassle, this will be awesome.

Instead of a place with holes in what should be a solid barrier between me and the outside world, I will be upgraded to a place that has holes covered in glass. Heeeeell yeah.

But with a new place, comes a proper kitchen as well. I checked the place out, and it's got a pretty decent triangle. The counter is a few paces further from the stove than I'd like, but at least it's not across the room or anything. So yes...

My mission: Truffles. I will become amazing at truffles. I've happened upon a particularly good way of making them, and I'm quite interested in what I'll be able to turn out.

Granted, a pound of quality (70%) bittersweet chocolate will cost me upwards to around $25.00, but considering i can easily fudge the really really good quality ingredients until I'm able to actually make a quality truffle (the harder part, believe me). If possible, I might even be able to move a few boxes under the table! I know I work with a bunch of people who like chocolate, and they like good chocolate even more, so it's definitely a possibility. I found a place where I can get supplies too, like fancy boxes, those little paper cups that they use to put confections in, and who knows what.

I think I'll make the first batches with some kind of low quality chocolate like hershey, and give out free samples and learn the ropes just to conserve cost. Hopefully they won't taste too bad. You definitely get what you pay for when it comes to these things though. Who knows. I'm sure Heather can attest to the quality of chocolate involved in making some bomb-ass brownies/cookies/cupcakes/baked goods.

Sidenote: If I can find myself some kind of injector (read: syringe, which won't be hard in Richmond), I might be able to even pump a few drops of Cognac in them for a little extra bite.
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